Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Okay.

I was sitting in a field in Hot Springs, NC, trying to adjust my camp chair and looking around for my children, when I saw her. I excused myself from friends who'd been chatting and headed in her direction.  All I had to do was catch her eye and smile, and she was up out of her camp chair, too.  As we hugged and exchanged "How are you?" and "How's your family?"', she exclaimed, "But you stopped writing!"  Something in my eyes must have given away that my blog was a sensitive issue, because she immediately followed with, "You'll know when the time is right. And when it is, I look forward to it. Because (she paused now) you have a gift. You do."

Carol and I at the 2012 Wild Goose Festival
Carol and her husband were our tent-neighbors at the previous year's Wild Goose Festival (2012).  It was the first and last time I'd seen them, but when you spend 4 long hot days and nights together in a place of such spiritual safety and welcome - well, it's fertile soil for heart-bonding.  How relieved we both were to admit that neither of us could remember the other's name - we literally laughed out loud, considering all the details neither of us will soon forget.  They are of my parents' generation, and more delightful than I can adequately put into words.  And so, seeing her again more than a year later and having her speak those words to me ... something happened.  When others have pointed out my writing - or lack of it, the past year - I've felt ... Defensive. Embarrassed. Guilty. Pressured. Apologetic. Annoyed.

But when Carol looked me in the eye, I felt my spirit soften.  Maybe it was her. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was the wild spirit of The Goose.  I don't know.  But inside my soul answered simply, "Okay".

And so, here I am.  Welcome back, if you're an old "pondering" friend.  Nice to meet you, if you're new.  Let's see where this Sunburst Street leads.

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